Day 303: Jokes Across America

Late Night with Seth Meyers
A rare fish normally found only in the Amazon was caught in a New Jersey pond. Researchers believe the fish got to New Jersey the same way as everyone else — by giving up.

A Kentucky County clerk has defied federal orders and continues to refuse marriage licenses for same-sex couples. Though she’s still giving licenses to same-family couples.

Day 300: Tinder Jokes

Conan
The Tinder app is now available in North Korea. It’s a little different over there. All of the photos are of Kim Jong-un. You swipe right if you think he’s attractive and you swipe left if you want to die.

A company is developing a version of Tinder for Catholics. It’s the first dating app where if you like someone, you swipe up, down, left, and right.

Day 298: Presidential Candidate Jokes

Conan
Many of the Republican candidates said they use a Fitbit. Jeb Bush uses his to determine how much distance he can put himself and his last name.

Late Night with Seth Meyers
A new CNN poll shows that Donald Trump is polling within 6 points of Hillary Clinton. It’s the closest Trump has ever gotten to a woman over 40.

Day 297: Marriage Problem Jokes

Conan
Hackers have exposed the identity of 40 million people on Ashley Madison. Even more shocking, two of them are women.

Late Night with Seth Meyers
A new study shows that the likelihood of divorce is lowest when people get married between the ages of 28 and 32. While it’s highest when people get married on ABC.

Day 296: Donald Trump Presidential Jokes, Again

Conan
At Ohio State University, it has just announced that a tiny human brain has been grown in a lab. And, it has already announced its support for Trump as president.

Late Night with Seth Meyers
Donald Trump said that some of his sexist comments were made when nobody cared who he was. That’s right, his comments were made next year.

Day 295: Education Jokes

Late Night with Seth Meyers
The U.S. Math team won the International Math Olympiad for the first time in 21 years. So, if you don’t think Americans can compete with Asia in math maybe you should talk to members of the American team like Shyam Narayanan, Yang Liu and Allen Liu, and their coach Po-Shen Loh.

New York City students scored slightly higher on math and reading exams this year than previous years. Their scores still weren’t good, but they were gooder.

Day 294: More Donald Trump Presidential Jokes

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
According to an online poll, Donald Trump is still the frontrunner in the Republican Primary Race. That’s very impressive because it’s the only race he hasn’t offended yet.

Late Night with Seth Meyers
Donald Trump gave a speech recently where he accused Jeb Bush and Hillary Clinton of being under the control of lobbyists, special interests, and deep pocketed donors. Trump says we should vote for him because he’s not under control at all.