Conan
In an interview, Hillary Clinton said she likes nearly every flavor of ice cream. When he heard this, Chris Christie said she stole his speech.
Late Night with Seth Meyers
Rick Perry said recently that Boy Scouts would be better off if they didn’t have openly gay Scoutmasters. Between the Boy Scouts and gay marriage, Republicans really don’t want gays tying the knot….
Conan
A store in Houston is selling Donald Trump pinatas filled with candy. So finally something good is going to come out of Donald Trump.
Late Night with Seth Meyers
Ted Cruz said he is a big fan of you Donald Trump. Although if there’s one thing Donald Trump should avoid is big fans.
Conan
Donald Trump recently reaffirmed his stance on gay marriage. Trump said marriage is between a rich guy and his much younger third wife.
Jeb Bush has defended the right of business owners to refuse services for same sex marriages. This has put millions of lesbians in the rare position of being anti-Bush.tutorial androidstreaming Phoenix Forgotten 2017 movie
Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
New defense secretary Ashton Carter said that he’s open to letting transgender people serve in the military. He says there’s no reason to prevent people from being generals just because of their privates.
Conan
Republicans in Congress have unveiled a new alternative to Obamacare. It’s called dying.
Conan
Recently, Sarah Palin had gone from “really interested” to “seriously interested” in considering a presidential run. And the American public has gone from “not interested” to “seriously not interested.”
Late Night with Seth Meyers
A ex-Obama adviser is saying that when Mitt Romney made his concession call to the president after losing the election, he implied that Obama only won because of the black vote. Although, I think he only won because of the white candidate.
Conan
Tea Party favorite Senator Ted Cruz has been appointed to oversee NASA. He said he wants NASA to focus on finding aliens so that he can deport them.
74 year-old senator Barbara Boxer announced she will not run for re-election in 2016. When I saw the headline, “74 Year-Old Boxer,” I assumed we were making another Rocky movie.
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
Both President Obama and former President George W. Bush were interviewed on Face the Nation over the weekend. During his interview, president Bush said there’s actually a 50% chance that his brother Jeb would run for president in 2016. Then he said there’s an 80% chance that he won’t.
Late Night with Seth Meyers
George W. Bush recently said it was a toss up whether his brother Jeb will run for President in 2016. Bush said there’s a 40/40 chance.
Conan
Cosmo magazine is encouraging female students in North Carolina to vote by offering a party bus to the polls that includes shirtless male models. The female students are signing up in droves to pull the lever…and also to vote.
Late Night with Seth Meyers
A new poll found that Democrats and Republicans also tend to disagree on restaurants. For example, Democrats tend to like Olive Garden while Republicans prefer restaurants.
Conan
Former governor Arnold Schwarzenegger was in California’s state capital to unveil his official portrait. Schwarzenegger said, “This portrait isn’t the only Arnold that’s hung.”
Late Night with Seth Meyers
Supporters of former Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez have released a new font in the style of his handwriting. Although, I’m surprised he wrote anything by hand since he was so used to dictating.
Sarah Palin and her family were reportedly involved in a brawl at a party in Anchorage, AL. Said Republicans, “This isn’t the first time she ruined a party.”
Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
There’s a group of conservatives that have launched a new social media site for Republicans called ReaganBook, after Facebook. I guess they thought it was better than the original name, MyBush.
Conan
After attacking president Obama’s foreign policy, Hillary Clinton now says she wants to “hug it out.” When he heard this, Bill Clinton told the President, “Take it from me, you’re not going to get anymore than that.