Conan
Scientists have discovered a 5,000 year-old mummy that is covered with at least 60 tattoos. Scientists are calling him the earliest known member of the NBA.
Late Night with Seth Meyers
This Fall, Pope Francis will reportedly host mass at Madison Square Garden. And unlike the New York Knicks, he will have a prayer.
Conan
Photos were leaked of the Dallas Cowboys owner 71 year-old Jerry Jones with two much younger women. The photos were leaked by Jerry Jones.
Late Night with Seth Meyers
The Minnesota Timberwolves agreed to a deal to trade All-Star Kevin Love to Cleveland. So it’s true: you can find Love in a hopeless place.
A robber at a gas station in Houston was stopped when the clerk on duty happened to be a champion MMA fighter. So crime doesn’t pay and apparently neither does being an MMA champion.
Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
The Miami Heat’s owner, Micky Arison — he also owns Carnival Cruises — said he was shocked and disappointed by LeBron’s decision. I think he’s going to be okay: if there’s anybody who’s used to dealing with a sinking ship….
Late Night with Seth Meyers
Donald Sterling told a judge that to keep control of the Clippers he will sue the NBA until the day he dies. And by the looks of him, that day was four years ago.
Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
This was a very big weekend for basketball fans. For the first time in NBA playoff history there were three game 7’s on the same day. Even better news: Donald Sterling can’t go to any of them.
Late Show with David Letterman
Here’s something interesting about Donald Sterling: he’s mixed heritage. He’s half jack, half ass.
Last weekend was the Kentucky Derby. But you know, if I wanted to see a horse’s ass, I’ll swing by Donald Sterling’s place.
Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
Clippers owner Donald Sterling, after he was recorded on tape making racist comments, Donald Sterling has been banned from the league for life. Great, just where Sterling didn’t want to end up: the blacklist.
Paula Deen is continuing her comeback by launching a 20-city cooking tour. Her first gig? Catering Donald Sterling’s farewell party.
Late Night with Seth Meyers
The NBA announced that Clippers owner Donald Sterling has been banned for life from any NBA event. And you can probably guess who he’s blaming.