Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
The New York Times said the government should legalize marijuana because the current laws against weed are useless and outdated. Then they said, you know, like a newspaper.
Late Show with David Letterman
In the United States of America, you can buy bottled water that is flavored like chocolate chip cookies. Now, New York City tap water looks like it has chocolate chips in it.
Late Night with Seth Meyers
A Tennessee woman was denied her vanity license plate request after DMV officials interpreted “I LOVE TOFU” as “I LOVE TO F-U.” Once she explained to them it’s “I LOVE TOFU,” they said it was even more disgusting.