Day 257: Fast Food Jokes

McDonald’s announced they are simplifying their menu to speed up service. When asked why, a McDonald’s spokesperson said, “Because our customers don’t have much time left.”

KFC is planning to bring back Colonel Sanders. Because if there’s one thing that will bring Americans together right now, it’s an old white guy dressed as a plantation owner.

Day 19: Food Jokes

Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
Kraft Foods is recalling 96,000 pounds of Oscar Meyer hot dogs because they may contain cheese, which could be dangerous for people with dairy allergies. Oscar Meyer recommended customers try their regular hot dogs, which are only dangerous for people allergic to hooves.

Domino’s debut a new pizza where instead of dough, they’re using fried chicken. It’s called Domino’s-Deep-Dish-You’re-All-Going-to-Die.

As a prom night promotion, KFC is offering corsages made out of fried chicken. But guys, be warned: If you give your date a chicken corsage your prom night will definitely be boneless.