Day 142: iPhone Jokes

Apple is paying for their female employees to freeze their eggs. They’re being stored in a factory in China where the eggs are already working on the iPhone 7.

According to a new poll, 1 out of 5 single guys say they’d rather have a new iPhone than a girlfriend. The other 4 said they’d take either one as long as they got to swap it out for a thinner version every six months.


Day 117: More Apple Jokes

Tech experts are saying that the new Apple iPhones are too big for most women to hold. Which is why Apple calls that model, “The Conan.”

New details coming out about the Apple Watch. Apple is now saying the new Apple Watch needs to be charged every single day. Also charged every single day…someone in the NFL.

A leaked document suggests that Microsoft is considering renaming its smartphone. So far their first choice is the Microsoft iPhone.


Day 115: Apple iPhone 6 Jokes

Late Night with Seth Meyers
This was a big week for Apple. Apple released the new iPhone 6 and iPhone 6 Plus. They’ll be in stores in about two weeks and in landfills in a year.

The new iPhone will also support over 20 different cell signals from Verizon’s LTE network to AT&T’s 4G network to Sprint’s no signal network.

The new iPhone will have two different sized models, the iPhone 6 and the much larger iPhone 6 Plus. The iPhone 6 has a better camera, a barometer, and a shatterproof screen. And the larger iPhone 6 Plus has a nice personality.


Day 92: iPhone and Airbnb Jokes

Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
A woman who rented her home to a guy on Airbnb but now the guy has stopped paying rent and refuses to leave. And other women were like, “Have you tried saying you love him?”

Late Night with Seth Meyers
A new rumor has surfaced that the next iPhone will feature an all-glass exterior. Because why should just the front be cracked?

Day 61: Smartphone Jokes

Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
Dominos has a new voice-activated iPhone app similar to Siri that will help customers order pizza. You just speak your order into the phone. Or as it’s called now, ordering a pizza.

Amazon introduced its own smartphone. You can tell it’s from Amazon because after you hang up with someone, Amazon suggests other people you may want to call.

Late Night with Seth Meyers
A new study shows that men who carry their cell phone in their pocket have a sperm count nearly 10% lower than those that don’t. While men who carry their cell phone on a belt clip don’t need to worry about it.


Day 48: Tech Jokes

Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
Facebook is working on a new option that will allow kids under the age of 13 to use the site. While kids under the age of 13 are currently using the old option that lets you lie.

Apple announced a new feature that will let your iPhone monitor your diet and track your calorie intake. Or you can pay extra for an iPhone to mind its own business.

Jimmy Kimmel Live
Apple unveiled two new operating systems, one for the iPhone and one for the Mac called Yosemite. iOS 8 has a built-in app called HealthKit that monitors your heart rate, your weight, your sleep, and if you sit on it, it’ll even give you a colonoscopy.

Day 31: Find My iPhone

There’s a new trend of people using the Find My iPhone app to confront thieves who stole their iPhone. This way, instead of just being a robbery victim you can also be a murder victim.

There’s a new trend of people using Find My iPhone to confront thieves who have stolen their iPhone. This explains the even newer app called Find-My-Stupid-Friend-Who-Went-After-the-Criminal-Who-Stole-His-iPhone.