Day 222: Corporate Jokes

Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
Wal-Mart announced that in the next six months it will increase its hourly employee’s hourly wages by 40%. Workers are pretty excited because they’ll finally make enough money to shop at Target.

IKEA announced they’re going to come out with furniture that will charge your electronic devices. Next up for IKEA? Furniture that will last more than two for years.

Day 161: Ikea and Warren Buffett Jokes

Late Night with Seth Meyers
On Sunday a six day search for a missing twelve year old boy ended when he was found inside an IKEA store. Searchers said they had plenty of clues, but they had a hell of a time putting them together.

Warren Buffett‘s company has bought Duracell for $6.4 billion. I think he overpaid because batteries aren’t included.


Day 151: Starbucks and Ikea Jokes

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
Starbucks announced it’s coming out with a new Chestnut Praline Latte. It sounds less like a drink and more like a stripper giving her full name.

Late Night with Seth Meyers
Ikea says it wants to come out with a new line of furniture that could be assembled without any tools in less than five minutes. It’s what other stores call furniture.


Day 1: Ikea and CEO Jokes

Jimmy Kimmel Live!
On Friday night a 5.1 magnitude earthquake and a bunch of its friends hit La Habra, which is about 25 miles south of us here in Hollywood. Earthquakes are God’s reminder that you shouldn’t be sleeping in a bed from Ikea.

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
Time Warner announced that their CEO will resign at the end of the year. They say they would have done it sooner, but that was the earliest they could get a technician to come out and install a replacement.

Jeff Bezos, the CEO of, bought the Washington Post for $250 million. Yeah, it was weird — he just walked into the Post’s headquarters and said, “Add to cart.”