Day 29: Clooney, DiCaprio, Alba, & Stiviano Jokes

Conan
FHM has come out with its annual list of the 100 hottest women. Or as Leonardo DiCaprio calls it, his “To Do” list.

In a recent interview Jessica Alba said she doesn’t do nude scenes because she doesn’t want her grandparents to see her boobs. Now Jessica Alba’s grandparents are receiving death threats.

Late Show with David Letterman
George Clooney is getting married and when you’re as big of a star as George Clooney, you can’t keep anything secret. You know how they found out that he’s getting engaged? Somebody spotted him in Kay’s Jewelers.

Jimmy Kimmel Live!
V. Stiviano claims there’s no sexual relationship [with Donald Sterling]. She says she’s a silly rabbit, but she doesn’t do tricks, I guess.

Day 22: Donald Sterling Jokes

Conan
The LA Clippers staged a protest of their owner’s racist remarks by wearing their uniforms inside-out. Meanwhile, the LA Lakers have been wearing their uniforms inside-out so no one would know they play for the Lakers.

Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
Donald Sterling was actually scheduled to receive a Lifetime Achievement Award from the NAACP, but the organization has now called off that ceremony. Turns out black people don’t want to be photographed with him either.

Late Show with David Letterman
George Clooney is engaged to be married. Another success story for eHarmony.com.