Day 184: Food Jokes

Conan
The General Mills cereal, Cheerios, will soon come out in new flavors like quinoa. The CEO of General Mills said the new flavor is in response to an overwhelming demand by no one.

McDonald’s has released a new video showing how it makes the Chicken McNuggets. Apparently, it turns out McNuggets aren’t made out of chicken, they’re made out of people who ask too many questions.

 

Day 176: Food Jokes

Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
A brother and sister in Minneapolis are opening threw world’s first vegan butcher shop. At the vegan butcher they promised to kill all the flavor but in a humane way.

Conan
As part of its new transparency campaign, McDonald’s has released a video showing how its Chicken McNuggets are made. It’s not bad: apparently the McNuggets die naturally after being fed the McRib.

Late Night with Seth Meyers
Pizza Hut has released a new crust that is stuffed with Doritos. And I imagine about an hour after you eat it, you’ll release it, too.

 

Day 2: All Seth Meyers Jokes

Late Night with Seth Meyers
The Tampa Bay Rays have introduced a new concession called the “Fan vs Food Burger,” which is a four-pound burger served with a pound of french fries, and two tickets to a future game if you finish the whole thing. Though, if you finish the whole thing, you’re probably not a guy who thinks too much about the future.

A woman in London has started organizing orgies for people in their 60s. Apparently, the way it works is, you read your book in bed next to several different partners.

There’s a new study that suggests that legalizing marijuana does not cause a rise in crime. Because, of course, crime takes effort.

A new study on unemployment shows it is now harder to get a job at Walmart than to get accepted at Harvard. Of course, it’s a lot easier if your dad went to Walmart.

The entertainment site Indiewire is claiming that the film Magic Mike, will get a sequel called Magic Mike XXL, unless it’s really cold in the theater.