Day 74: LeBron James and Donald Sterling Jokes

Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
The Miami Heat’s owner, Micky Arison — he also owns Carnival Cruises — said he was shocked and disappointed by LeBron’s decision. I think he’s going to be okay: if there’s anybody who’s used to dealing with a sinking ship….

Late Night with Seth Meyers
Donald Sterling told a judge that to keep control of the Clippers he will sue the NBA until the day he dies. And by the looks of him, that day was four years ago.

 

Day 40: More Donald Sterling

Late Show with David Letterman
A guy in Tennessee was arrested with having sex with an ATM machine. Having sex with a cash machine…hasn’t that been what Donald Sterling’s girlfriend’s been doing?

Conan
In a new interview about the Donald Sterling scandal, Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban said he knows he’s prejudiced, too. In fact, Cuban admits he’s so racist he’s trying to get his last name deported.

In a new biography, Michael Jordan said as a kid he saw so much racism that he began to hate all white people. Jordan said he only started to feel compassion for white people after watching them play basketball.

Jimmy Kimmel Live
The curious case of LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling and his female companion V. Stiviano deepens. She’s now reportedly being investigated on extortion charges for allegedly asking Sterling for payment in exchange for not releasing more damaging audio recordings. That is a no-no, especially in this case. You know, blackmail is Donald Sterling’s least favorite kind of mail.

Day 35: Sterling and the Clippers

Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
Donald Sterling is now planning to sue the NBA for banning him from the league; which is good because it’s the only way he’s going to see a court again.

Jimmy Kimmel Live
The Clippers got knocked out of the playoffs. Who could’ve ever guessed the Clippers would lose.

Day 24: More Donald Sterling Jokes

Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
Clippers owner Donald Sterling, after he was recorded on tape making racist comments, Donald Sterling has been banned from the league for life. Great, just where Sterling didn’t want to end up: the blacklist.

Paula Deen is continuing her comeback by launching a 20-city cooking tour. Her first gig? Catering Donald Sterling’s farewell party.

Late Night with Seth Meyers
The NBA announced that Clippers owner Donald Sterling has been banned for life from any NBA event. And you can probably guess who he’s blaming.

Day 22: Donald Sterling Jokes

Conan
The LA Clippers staged a protest of their owner’s racist remarks by wearing their uniforms inside-out. Meanwhile, the LA Lakers have been wearing their uniforms inside-out so no one would know they play for the Lakers.

Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
Donald Sterling was actually scheduled to receive a Lifetime Achievement Award from the NAACP, but the organization has now called off that ceremony. Turns out black people don’t want to be photographed with him either.

Late Show with David Letterman
George Clooney is engaged to be married. Another success story for eHarmony.com.