Day 249: Sports Jokes

Conan
Earlier this week the Orioles and the White Sox played their game in front of a completely empty stadium. It was the first major sporting event to be played before an empty stadium…unless you count every professional soccer game in America.

Yesterday was the start of the NFL Draft. This year it was simulcast on ESPN and Court TV.watch full movie Aardvark onlineThe Nice Guys 2016 live streaming film onlineGuardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 film download

Day 125: Sports Jokes

Conan
On his radio program Rush Limbaugh said sometimes when women say “No,” they mean, “Yes.” As a result, Limbaugh has just been made the new Commissioner of the NFL.

The federal prison population has dropped by almost 5,000 people. It’s expected to go back up once the NFL season ends.

Philadelphia Phillies pitcher Jonathan Papelbon is serving a seven-game suspension for grabbing his crotch. It’s all part of the National League’s Two-Balls-You’re-Out Policy.

Day 95: America and America’s Pastime

Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
Minor League Baseball players have filed a class action lawsuit to demand better pay. As opposed to the other way they can get better pay: being better at baseball.

Late Night with Seth Meyers
A new study shows that only 28% of Americans think the US is the greatest country in the world. And, that’s only because they couldn’t name any other countries.

 

Day 2: All Seth Meyers Jokes

Late Night with Seth Meyers
The Tampa Bay Rays have introduced a new concession called the “Fan vs Food Burger,” which is a four-pound burger served with a pound of french fries, and two tickets to a future game if you finish the whole thing. Though, if you finish the whole thing, you’re probably not a guy who thinks too much about the future.

A woman in London has started organizing orgies for people in their 60s. Apparently, the way it works is, you read your book in bed next to several different partners.

There’s a new study that suggests that legalizing marijuana does not cause a rise in crime. Because, of course, crime takes effort.

A new study on unemployment shows it is now harder to get a job at Walmart than to get accepted at Harvard. Of course, it’s a lot easier if your dad went to Walmart.

The entertainment site Indiewire is claiming that the film Magic Mike, will get a sequel called Magic Mike XXL, unless it’s really cold in the theater.