The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
After the Senate failed to pass a bill on the Patriot Act the NSA can no longer collect American’s phone records in bulk. They decided to not monitor our phone calls when they realized no one’s made a phone call in seven years.
A lawyer from Africa wants to marry Malia Obama in exchange for goats, sheep, and cows. In response, president Obama said, “Don’t be ridiculous, my daughter isn’t marrying a lawyer.”