Day 3: Variety Pack of Jokes

Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
[March 31] was the big deadline for Obamacare. If you still haven’t enrolled you might have to pay a penalty called the Individual Shared Responsibility Payment, which is 1% of your salary. Then Americans said, “Man, good thing I don’t have a job.”

Late Show with David Letterman
Anyone seen Noah? It’s a blockbuster. A lot of people say it’s not accurate, especially the part where the ark hits the iceberg.

Late Night with Seth Meyers
Tiger Woods announced he won’t play in the Masters because he is recovering from back surgery. His doctors have told him to avoid swinging, and also golf.

Day 2: All Seth Meyers Jokes

Late Night with Seth Meyers
The Tampa Bay Rays have introduced a new concession called the “Fan vs Food Burger,” which is a four-pound burger served with a pound of french fries, and two tickets to a future game if you finish the whole thing. Though, if you finish the whole thing, you’re probably not a guy who thinks too much about the future.

A woman in London has started organizing orgies for people in their 60s. Apparently, the way it works is, you read your book in bed next to several different partners.

There’s a new study that suggests that legalizing marijuana does not cause a rise in crime. Because, of course, crime takes effort.

A new study on unemployment shows it is now harder to get a job at Walmart than to get accepted at Harvard. Of course, it’s a lot easier if your dad went to Walmart.

The entertainment site Indiewire is claiming that the film Magic Mike, will get a sequel called Magic Mike XXL, unless it’s really cold in the theater.

Day 1: Ikea and CEO Jokes

Jimmy Kimmel Live!
On Friday night a 5.1 magnitude earthquake and a bunch of its friends hit La Habra, which is about 25 miles south of us here in Hollywood. Earthquakes are God’s reminder that you shouldn’t be sleeping in a bed from Ikea.

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
Time Warner announced that their CEO will resign at the end of the year. They say they would have done it sooner, but that was the earliest they could get a technician to come out and install a replacement.

Jeff Bezos, the CEO of, bought the Washington Post for $250 million. Yeah, it was weird — he just walked into the Post’s headquarters and said, “Add to cart.”

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Shatavari is a natural product formulated with herbs known for their ability to regulate hormonal secretion. Shatavari acts as a galactagogue and is useful in lactation failure – it promotes lactation. Shatavari is also used as a female tonic.

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If you miss a dose you should take it as soon as you remember about your missing. If it is the time for the next dose you should continue your regular dosing schedule. Do not exceed the doctor’s recommended dose.

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If an overdose occurs and you are feeling unwell, you should seek emergency medical attention or contact your healthcare provider immediately.

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Store at room temperature between 15 and 30 degrees C (59 and 86 degrees F) and away from excess moisture and heat. Throw away any unused medicine after the expiration date. Keep out of the reach of children.

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Shatavari is a highly effective female tonic manufactured by Himalaya. Shatavari contains steroidal-like saponins to support the activity of estrogen and progesterone in the body – important hormones for healthy functioning of reproductive system. The active ingredient Asparagus Racemosus promotes normal menstrual cycles and menopausal transitions. It is also useful for infertility, decreased libido, threatened miscarriage, menopause, leucorrhea and has the ability to balance pH in the cervical area. Shatavari both nourishes and cleanses the blood and the female reproductive organs. It is the best remedy for menopause or for those who have had hysterectomies, as it supplies many female hormones. It nourishes the ovum and increases fertility.

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Generic Strattera is used for treating attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).

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Do not take double dose. If you miss a dose you should take it as soon as you remember about your missing. If it is the time for the next dose you should continue your regular dosing schedule.

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If you overdose Generic Strattera and you don’t feel good you should visit your doctor or health care provider immediately.

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Store at room temperature between 15 and 30 degrees C (59 and 86 degrees F) away from moisture and heat. Throw away any unused medication after the expiration date. Keep out of the reach of children.

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Generic Strattera is used for treating attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Generic Strattera is a selective norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor. Exactly how Generic Strattera works to treat ADHD is not known. Generic Strattera increases certain chemicals (e.g., norepinephrine) in the brain. This may affect attention span and behavior. Strattera is also known as Atomoxetine, Attentrol, Tomoxetin, Attentin, Axepta. Generic name of Generic Strattera is Atomoxetine. Brand name of Generic Strattera is Strattera.

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