Late Show with David Letterman
Welcome to New York. The weather today: 81 and cloudy, like Donald Sterling.
Conan
In Texas, a family was attacked by a swarm of bees in a town called Beeville. The family said they’re fed up with Beeville; they’re moving to Wolftown.
Late Night with Seth Meyers
This week 35,000 Jehovah’s Witnesses are meeting at New Orleans in the Superdome. So if you live in the Superdome, do not answer your door this week.