Conan
On his radio program Rush Limbaugh said sometimes when women say “No,” they mean, “Yes.” As a result, Limbaugh has just been made the new Commissioner of the NFL.
The federal prison population has dropped by almost 5,000 people. It’s expected to go back up once the NFL season ends.
Philadelphia Phillies pitcher Jonathan Papelbon is serving a seven-game suspension for grabbing his crotch. It’s all part of the National League’s Two-Balls-You’re-Out Policy.